DO NO HARM

Musings of the local Social Worker

I'm a Social Worker in the Sunny Island of Singapore. Being in a people's profession, I work with individuals and groups in the community. My love and passion for the work I do is fuelled by the amazing stories and experiences I have in working with clients and groups in the community. Valuable lessons this colourful life has taught me, lessons which may be futile if I don't take the effort to document them in some way (hence this blog). 

This blog is about my personal views, thoughts and ideas. Most of them relate to my work and experiences with people and the community. Some probably won't.

A part of me feels that some information may be useful to at least someone out there. Feel free to share your own stories with me.

I'm a social worker, hear me roar!

Fareez

 

Supporting families with Persons with Special Needs

 

 

I recently wrote to the Straits Times forum about reviewing services with special needs (Published in 8/6/2013):

Review Services for People with Special Needs

THE recent incident where a woman was charged with her son's murder is unfortunate ("Boy's fall: Mum charged with murder"; Tuesday).

I am a social worker at a family service centre, and this tragedy puts into perspective the need for further analysis and discourse over the support required by families with special-needs members.

I have come into contact with various families that expressed concerns over caring for children or siblings with special needs.

To my son

 

Dear Fikri,

Your arrival was nothing short of a miracle. In fact, I stood in stunned silence as I witnessed the incredible process of which you were squeezed out of your dear mother. And your mother, how much awe I suddenly had of her (not that there wasn't much awe to begin with), which culminated into the current profound respect I have of women now. 

I held you in my arms, toying with internal schemas and dilemmas of possible future events at this current new transition point of my life. Seeing you so vulnerable, made me want so much to make damn sure that nothing hurts you. I remembered my own trials and tribulations, and hoped so much that you would not have to go through what I went through. The world can indeed be a harsh place, with dubious personas wielding multiple agendas. 

But then I remembered: its true these things hurt, but they were lessons to learn. The cuts make us stronger, and the wounds make us wiser. Provided we forgive and love ourselves to heal. And although some characters are suspect, there are people who are so beautiful that we would miss whatever warmth and knowledge they can provide us if we do not open our hearts to them. 

It would be a disfavour to protect you from the harsh realities of transitions and potential heartbreaks. What I can only promise, is to be there to wipe your tears, and (still tentative) attempt to give you a manly hug during those rainy days. What I might do better might be to wrestle you whilst my body allows me to. 

What I can offer you, if you so choose to hear, is some "fatherly advice" learnt directly from the school of hard knocks. They might not be the 10 commandments, but they helped me through life fair enough:

 

Advice 1: Love your mother

Your mother may potentially be the most irritating person to you in the entire planet, but love her all the same. Noone will ever come close to this person who will happily clean the snot from your nose, and the poo from your behind. Noone will be so anxious about how you are doing, and whether you are wearing the right clothes at any particular time. Most of all, love your mother, as I love her, for being the better half in raising you. 

 

Advice 2: Be Uncertain

Certainty gives us blind confidence. Unquestioning loyalty may potentially lead to the abuse of power. Labels are but labels, as people transcend such compartmentalised definitions created by us. Be true to your name, and reflect on your actions and perceptions. Be surprised by people, be willing to take calculated risks. 

 

Advice 3: Whenever someone irritates you, try your best to know this person better

For this is how I made some of the best friends in the world. 

 

Advice 4: Let humour be a mainstay in your life.

How else would you be able to see the silver linings of those cloudy days? Humour will diffuse those uncomfortable silences, bring cheer to your loved ones, and help chase away the anxieties blocking your way towards solving many of life's problems. Have fun, play, it's ok to be stupid, sometimes. 

 

Advice 5: Be Humble

For your father is the most humble around (see advice 4). Humility helps remind us that good things are a blessing, and that there are others worse off than us. Humility then helps us reflect on how we can start to help others. And we should be doing that shouldn't we, helping others? 

 

Advice 6: Do stuff for the right reasons

As long as our intentions are well meaning, things will hopefully fall into place. 

 

Advice 7: Know that I love you

Last but not least. I might not show it. It might sometimes seem that I mean otherwise. I might unfortunately miss some things that you hoped I'd be around for (sorry, will try my best not to). But know that deep down inside, daddy loves his wee little boy. 

With Love

Your Daddy

Fareez

 

 

Happy New Year

I sit in the dark amidst celebrations most likely happening elsewhere, as the new year inches its way through. Indeed 2012 has been a year of many surprises and blessings, and 2013 promises of blessings to come. Like most beginnings, one can't help but reflect on the past, and how time has swept along without me noticing it much.

As my phone beeps incessantly with generic New Year wishes, I think about the relationships that matter, or mattered. How some have remained constant, whilst some have faded through the years. Of bonds that we thought could never be broken, and promises long forgotten.

I think of past deeds, the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. Then wonder how they fit into the self I am today. Did they make me the man I am, or could I have done better? 

I let my head wander in the sea of change, where the waves have brought a time where life didn't seem worth living, and yet carried me to an island made of dreams. I fiddle with the tinge of fear: that the storm might yet again come crashing into my Utopia. 

But the thoughts will settle. We let the past float away, yet not too far so we may still learn from this flotsam of experience. Beautiful memories are a boon for the troubled mind, but may yet consume us the more we yearn for their embrace.

Hence we hold them with care, as we seek to carve new ones,

and carve them we shall. 

Happy New Year

Dignity?

 

I looked at my case notes again, as I compared it to what I observed to be reality. This was a referral from the local Member of Parliament, one of those we had to respond to urgently. Feelings of urgency were usually subjective; subjective to who observed the urgency, subjective to what this person was feeling when he felt this urgency. I flitted with a joke that the report writer from the Meet the People session was probably suffering from a bad bout of gas, before going back to the task at hand. 

"Old man with one leg selling tissue paper at the hawker centre. Looks like he has financial problem. Please assist, and make sure he gets the help he wants, so that he does not have to be in the streets." was the monotone message invoked by the referral. 

Letter to Berita Harian

A letter to Berita Harian from the dear Wifey, on the importance of the social worker in the community.

It's heartening when your life partner supports the very profession that takes you away from her for long hours.. =)

For (proficient) malay readers only. 

 

Salam sejahtera Puan/Tuan

 

 

Saya merujuk kepada artikel yang ditulis oleh Cik Nur Dhuha Esoof pada tanggal 25 Julai 2012, Rabu, berkenaan 'Penerima Biasiswa Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam.'

 

Pertama sekali, saya menabik usaha Cik Nur Dhuha yang telah membuat liputan berita yang sangat baik tentang kedua-dua belia yang meraih biasiswa suruhanjaya tersebut. Pencapaian mereka mengharumkan nama bangsa dan harus dijadikan contoh teladan kepada masyarakat Melayu/Islam di Singapura.

 

Little Bo Peep's Sheep

 

As the farmer was about his morning walk, he could not but help notice Little Bo Peep lingering under the shade of an orange tree.

"Hey there Little Bo Peep! Where are your sheep?" The Farmer bellowed.

Bo Peep maintained an indignant look on her face, and breathed a mousey voice:

"Not to worry. I have made special arrangements to make sure they are safe."

Simple Survey

Dear Friends, am doing up a simple survey on attitudes of Euthanasia for my masters class.

 

Would sincerely appreciate your participation through the following link! https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/QQNZMXJ Hope that you can snowball the link to your friends too! =P Questions should take less than 10 minutes to complete.

 

Best regards!

 

Fareez

The Ivory Tower

The parable of the ivory tower is an oft used adage in social services, where us field practitioners would chide the limited knowledge our administrators and policy makers have. We feel that they are too disengaged from the needs of the ground, simply because of their limited field experience. We then quickly discount their policies and ideas, creating further tension between practitioners and policy makers. This sentiment has also affected social service policy to the extent that practitioners on the ground are encouraged to move into policy work as part of logical professional progression for their careers. We assume that someone with  a lot of experience on the ground would be more effective in formulating policies that would cater to the true needs of the community.

However, personal observation gradually shifted my perspectives on this, especially since I have observed individuals with strong field experience finding difficulties at the policy level (although this is very much a generalisation.)

I had the chance to speak to Human Resource consultant recently; consultants who would provide advice and problem solving skills to Human Resource departments in big organisations. When posed the question on whether one should have a few years experience in Human Resource before going into consultancy, he was quick to reply that few people actually successfully transit from experienced line practice in HR into HR consultancy.

The problem, he said, was that although HR knowledge was important to the consultant, understanding how HR fits into the macro perspective of the business organisation is a totally different ball game. Being too entrenched in a niche aspect of HR may impede one's view of the entire HR framework, and be too myopic when it comes to resolving issues and problems at the policy level.

Perhaps this emphasis of ground knowledge is an overstated fact. More importantly is the need for one to be well versed in current theories defining local practice, as well as conducting appropriate research and analysis of how social problems fit within the entire socio economic structure of society. Perhaps we might do better getting experts from various fields of politics, economics, etc, instead of just depending on the pool of ground enriched social service trained practitioners.

We can only stand to gain from learning from success stories from other professions.

Risk Management and Intervention for Clients with Alcohol Addiction Problems

Alcohol, whilst utilised as a social beverage for personal enjoyment and relieving the pressures of a hard day's work, is a depressant which one can be dependent on. Its effects can be debilitating, not only on one's health, but also on one's social life, as someone with alcohol addiction issues may alienate family and friends in pursuit of the next drink. 

Interestingly, risk assessment for Alcohol problems is usually not something I am used to doing, as normally it is difficult to engage client with such issues, for the very reason that they may alienate themselves from the family members.

Tips on the Management of Angry & Hostile Clients

 

Adapted from Berg (1994: 24 - 25)

 

1. Pay attention to anger and hostility since these emotions can alert worker to a potentially dangerous situation

2. If it is known that client has been hostile to other workers, find out what has been helpful or not helpful to diffuse such anger in the past. As much as it is helpful to know what to do, it is also helpful to know what NOT to do

3. If someone is paranoid or suspicious, do not argue with her; agreeing with how she sees things does not mean that you support the perception. 

4. Normalise client's anger and hostility towards you. Allow her to vent her anger and frustration for a while.

5. Don't rush to defend yourself, your profession, agency, department, etc; but attend to her complaints

6. Distance yourself from the target of her anger. It can be a person, organisation, or way of behaving. 

7. Give person space to move around and allow him to leave the room or walk out.

8. Affirm and reframe his anger as a method of coping or a way of addressing a need (e.g. the need to protect his family's privacy, in the case of a child protection case).

9. Explore how you would be able to work in a manner that is useful with the client, to gently move into a collaborative relationship. 

10. Do not feel compelled to stay in a potentialy violent situation. Allow yourself easy access to an exit.

 

Source

Berg, I. K. (1994). Family Based Services : A Solution-Focused Approach. Norton