Your arrival was nothing short of a miracle. In fact, I stood in stunned silence as I witnessed the incredible process of which you were squeezed out of your dear mother. And your mother, how much awe I suddenly had of her (not that there wasn't much awe to begin with), which culminated into the current profound respect I have of women now.
I held you in my arms, toying with internal schemas and dilemmas of possible future events at this current new transition point of my life. Seeing you so vulnerable, made me want so much to make damn sure that nothing hurts you. I remembered my own trials and tribulations, and hoped so much that you would not have to go through what I went through. The world can indeed be a harsh place, with dubious personas wielding multiple agendas.
But then I remembered: its true these things hurt, but they were lessons to learn. The cuts make us stronger, and the wounds make us wiser. Provided we forgive and love ourselves to heal. And although some characters are suspect, there are people who are so beautiful that we would miss whatever warmth and knowledge they can provide us if we do not open our hearts to them.
It would be a disfavour to protect you from the harsh realities of transitions and potential heartbreaks. What I can only promise, is to be there to wipe your tears, and (still tentative) attempt to give you a manly hug during those rainy days. What I might do better might be to wrestle you whilst my body allows me to.
What I can offer you, if you so choose to hear, is some "fatherly advice" learnt directly from the school of hard knocks. They might not be the 10 commandments, but they helped me through life fair enough:
Advice 1: Love your mother
Your mother may potentially be the most irritating person to you in the entire planet, but love her all the same. Noone will ever come close to this person who will happily clean the snot from your nose, and the poo from your behind. Noone will be so anxious about how you are doing, and whether you are wearing the right clothes at any particular time. Most of all, love your mother, as I love her, for being the better half in raising you.
Advice 2: Be Uncertain
Certainty gives us blind confidence. Unquestioning loyalty may potentially lead to the abuse of power. Labels are but labels, as people transcend such compartmentalised definitions created by us. Be true to your name, and reflect on your actions and perceptions. Be surprised by people, be willing to take calculated risks.
Advice 3: Whenever someone irritates you, try your best to know this person better
For this is how I made some of the best friends in the world.
Advice 4: Let humour be a mainstay in your life.
How else would you be able to see the silver linings of those cloudy days? Humour will diffuse those uncomfortable silences, bring cheer to your loved ones, and help chase away the anxieties blocking your way towards solving many of life's problems. Have fun, play, it's ok to be stupid, sometimes.
Advice 5: Be Humble
For your father is the most humble around (see advice 4). Humility helps remind us that good things are a blessing, and that there are others worse off than us. Humility then helps us reflect on how we can start to help others. And we should be doing that shouldn't we, helping others?
Advice 6: Do stuff for the right reasons
As long as our intentions are well meaning, things will hopefully fall into place.
Advice 7: Know that I love you
Last but not least. I might not show it. It might sometimes seem that I mean otherwise. I might unfortunately miss some things that you hoped I'd be around for (sorry, will try my best not to). But know that deep down inside, daddy loves his wee little boy.