Friendship

 

Life is seldom so ideal for one to have a group of friends they stick with their entire life, ala hit sitcoms "Friends" and the more recent "How I met Your Mother". More likely you would have several pocket of friends who come from the different life stages or settings you are involved in: for e.g your secondary school friends, your army buddies, your work friends, friends from some sport you are involved in etc. 

Also seldom are chances for you to combine all these different groups whose friendship you value into one conglomerate that will just get along well with each other. Everything was fine and dandy when you were in secondary or primary school, where you probably have a core group of friends that you stuck with. At that point of time, you probably felt that this group was tight, and would probably last through the years. 

But as we grow older, our responsibilities increase, and with that our network also increases, and one may find that he has several groups that he is "tight" with. With involvements in jobs, there is also further difficulty in maintaining these several networks, and unfortunately, as hard as we try, some networks may be given up or cease to exist. 

Maintaining these networks become more onerous as we start to embark on the next phase of our lives: starting a family. With increased responsibilities at home, even less time we have for our friends. 

These networks are only ignited in occasional meet ups, during a crisis such as hospitalisation or death, or when some help or favour is needed (monetary and non monetary). Otherwise these friendships remain latent, obscured in the missed opportunities caused by the clash of our busy schedules.

One might look into this phenomenon as something sad, and many a time, we may be caught reminiscing the lost past, and yearning for the "good 'ol times" with some measure of melancholy. 

However sad it might be, this is of course the realities of our life span development. How do we reframe these "lost" camarederie, into special life lessons, where you can be grateful that certain persons have crossed your life, and their unique relationships have counted into making us who we are as of this very moment. 

We accept that current life responsibilities are no longer able to maintain bonds and "tightness" of yesteryears. It may simply be impossible. We create the occassional opportunities to remain in contact, just for the sake of such reminiscence and bonding, and yet accept that such opportunities would always be limited. We remain present and supportive in the background, in case help and support is needed. 

Like the river that runs between two banks, we can remain connected whilst apart, save for wintertime where the land joins as the water freezes..

 

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened" Dr Seuss

 

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