The Maintenance of the Parent

I guess its time to move beyond my philosophical ramblings which have actually been going on for some time. One might accuse me of being all talk but no action, and frequently keeping my heads in the clouds within the realms between academia and idealism (but that is a topic reserved for much later discussion).

I had a recent experience a couple of days back with bringing one of my clients to the Family Link Centre at Lengkok Bahru to appeal to the Commissioner of Maintenance of Parents to have a mediation session to discuss with my client's children about their ability to pay for and support their parent. 

For those not familiar with the processed of seeking maintenance of parents, the process is as such.

1. Older adult is keen to seek maintenance against her children who are not supporting her financially.

2. Older adult goes down to the Commissioner of the Maintenance of Parents to request Mediation.

3. Mediation officer appointed by the Ministry of Community Development Youth and Sports, attempts to engage the children for a mediation session (older adult may or may not need to be involved).

4. Should mediation prove unsuccessful, older adult may choose to proceed to approach the Tribunal for the Maintenance of Parents where the children would be mandated to attend court proceedings which would determine the amount of maintenance the children would have to give their parent. 

 

Indeed the issue of maintaining our parents is always a complicated one for me. On one hand, it is rare that a parent manages to pluck enough resolve to decide to take action against her children. In this sense, the mediation element may assist in softening any "shock" the children might receive when getting news that their parent is requesting maintenance through formal means. Many a time I have also witnessed relationships disintegrate beyond repair after the formalisation of maintenance arrangements in court. 

For the social worker, the task entrusted is thus to manage the financial needs of these older adults, and explore a more informal means of engaging family members for cordial discussion, before formalised systems are utilised. This is a difficult process, due to several factors: namely the social workers' role as a system that the family engages voluntarily. Hence attendance to any mediation discussion, or any agreement made to pay any amount is not fixed nor structured within legal terms (Lawyers being anathema to Social Workers). 

Indeed, having the Maintenance of Parents Act is a useful resource for parents in financial need seeking redress. But criticisms are abound where concerns are raised about the retraumatisation of the older adults who have to face the anxieties and hurt surrounding the strained relationships they have with their children, relationships that they have ignored or disengaged themselves from within the course of several years.

How then can this be reconciled with the latent policy value of "Care and support should come from the family first." Such dilemmas manifest in instances where an older adult is in financial difficulty, but is not able to qualify for assistance. She has children but is not on good terms with them in spite of the fact that they are working. When applying for financial assistance, she is informed that she should be able to request for regular income from the children, and that she should apply for maintenance should the children not be providing for her. Only when children are unable to support, or the court decides that there is no grounds for the children to care for their parent, would financial assistance be provided. 

In this hypothetical scenario, the social worker then plays a crucial role in advocating for financial assistance to come in whilst assessing the relationship the older adult has with her children, relating it to her affect response to the idea of engaging the children to care for her. Would we really need to push her towards applying for maintenance formally? As much as social workers have a role to play in supporting government social policies, there is also a need to align to our client's stresses and perceptions towards doing something as difficult as getting your children to support you. 

When it comes to such cases where the children are not financially supportive, further exploration of the cases identify many years of dysfunctional interactional patterns, deep seated emotions of grief, sadness and anger, which have cumulated over the years. In most cases, these children would also have legitimate cases against supporting their parent due to some mistreatment incurred on them by their parents in the past. The issue is not always as linear and one sided as the stories we hear from our childhood about the evils of ingratitude. If a parent had played a supportive role in their children's development, it is highly likely that the children would in turn support their parent in old age, unless they are really financially incapable to do so (which makes the older adult's request for financial assistance all the more justified).

Hence the importance of coming to a good assessment of the family situation, and being able to advocate for support in cases where the older adult is not keen to apply for maintenance. But this then creates 2 crucial questions. The first: are social workers'  assessments about the family situation credible and accurate? The second: are the different organisations willing to accept these assessment reports, and allow flexibility within the rationalised procedures involved in applying for financial assistance? 

How then can social workers look towards increasing their credibility instead of focussing needless energy in creating boundaries to make the realm of social work more exclusive. In such cases assessments must be strong and based on a systematic way to empathise with the struggles of the individual oldeer adult in relation to his extended family, and also to the wider systems in his environment. Following this, how can social workers also skilfully link such assessments to interventions aimed at increasing support for the older adults? Even more importantly is how can social workers show the public (and stakeholders) that these interventions are indeed successful in addressing the needs of these older adults, and yet enable ample opportunities for these older adults to obtain government aid should the relationships be assessed to be irrepairable. 

Only then can credibility be attained. 

Comments

[debt consolidation loans]

You hit it right on. Parents today often neglect their own personal finance for needs just to make sure that the children and bills are paid.

[certified financial planning]

It is a moral right for children to maintain their parents in their elderly state. The term filial piety comes to mind.

[Monster LadyGaga]

I think you write this article article was really too good! Give me a lot of help. Hope to write better work!

[Zara Outlet London]

In 1926 postpxoqiq Yes, we are right | Zara Outlet London Glogster is also a wrong little bit of quicker @ all my a property than sales genuinely is @ school Zara Outlet London.
nrlucsdm ニ∩

[mia 2]

A brilliant Saturday and the call to visit Katchkie Farm was irresistible; I invited my friend, Nazli, to come along. We sailed up the Taconic lost in conversation about life in Iran, her native country, where she had recently spent two weeks, returning with tasty treats and packages of vegetable seeds. Is it characteristic of someone who loves a garden to gravitate to local agriculture when travelling? As I travel, I always buy a selection of local seeds. My collection includes seeds from Japan, Israel, England and Spain.

[ティファニー]

Even a childess woman could be off sick with this that and the other. What if you needed to go to dialysis 3 times a week or have chemo every week?

[true religion]

Cette fois l'auteur va partager une certaine expertise avec vous sur la faon de distinguer bons et authentiques chaussures Christian Louboutin, donc la prochaine fois que chaque fois que vous