Presentation @ Ramallah, Palestine

We had the chance to present the Life Certificate methodology in grief work in Ramallah Palestine, at the Second International/Palestinian Narrative Congress. The Congress, with the theme "Strengthening Stories of Survival and Resistance", was a joint collaboration between the Treatment and Rehabilitation Center for Victims of Torture (TRC), and Dulwich Centre Foundation International.

 

 

The following script is the presentation we did:

 

• I would like to thank the TRC for the opportunity to present in the 2^nd Narrative conference, and we are honoured to be the first delegates from Singapore in Ramallah. Thousands of Singaporeans stand in solidarity with Palestine
• The use of documents is prominent in narrative therapy where they are utilized in presentations of the “self” (White & Epston, 1990).
• Formal identity documents such as certificates issues by an authority, tend to be impersonal with facts printed by an authority other than the person whose identity is being described.
• Alternatively, Preferred identity documents can be useful in enabling the participant to be heavily involved in their sense of identity, and in the making known of special skills and knowledges.
• As a social worker consulting people affected by grief, I noticed how my clients were affected by difficulties involved in “letting go” of the person who has passed away.
• This perspective formed the dominant discourse of grief work in Singapore.
• In response to these dominant discourses, the life certificate was developed to make known stories of the person we lost in preferred ways of how we might want to remember them.
• In Singapore, various cultures intersect with different religious practices. Where Chinese Taoist cultural discourse may value the act of crying and outward display of grief at the funeral of the deceased, the Malay Muslim cultural discourse may value the restraining of emotions and instead focus on the practice of prayer.
• Sometimes, dominant beliefs can be oppressive in that the individual is compelled to follow “normative” ideas of grieving which may not fit with his or her own personal views. Each person's relationship to culture and religion is unique to her own understanding of the world.
• We consider revisions towards the dominant beliefs of moving on and letting go of the person who has passed on.
• This involves a “shift away from the idea that successful grieving requires “letting go” of the person who has died and moving toward a maintaining a relationship with someone who has passed away.The life certificate (www.life-certificate.com) is a tool that may be helpful identifying alternative story lines to the emotions and the experience of loss.
• It considers a flip side to the death certificate that is issued in Singapore. This is where families are issued with a death certificate of the family member who has died. These certificates, like our identity cards, are impersonal, and permanent.
• The certificate has guidelines that may assist in second story development. There should be flexibility for persons to personalize their life certificates in ways to honor the legacy of a deceased loved one.
•  The life certificate generally has the following components:Name or preferred name of the person; Photograph or drawing of the person; Person’s favourite hobby/song/place/etc; Quotes that are remembered from this person; What I appreciate or love about this person; What this person appreciates or loves about me; Gifts I have received from this person (may include values, skills, or life lessons); Gifts I want to pass on to others (can be values, skills or life lessons); How I take care of myself when I miss this person too much; Signed off and certified by the creator of the certificate
• Other guidelines to consider would include exploring the following questions (if they are relevant): What are some memories that you have about this person that has contributed to you being the person that you are right now? What are some memories that you have, that would be worth retelling to honor this person? What are some things you might want to say to this person? What might this person say about you now?
• According to Michael White, “remembering conversations are not about passive collection but about purposive engagements with the history of the relationships with significant figures
• We move away from the experience of pain, worthlessness, isolation, that is related to the memories surrounding the loss, and embrace memories and new understandings of these relationships.
• These ideas can be completed using the following maps of inquiry that are accessible through my website if you are keen to find out at www.life-certificate.com

1. Talking about talking about grief
2. Externalize the experience of grief, and map its effects on the life of the person facing grief issues
3. Appreciating and honoring the contributions of the deceased person, and supporting the continuation of this person’s legacy.
4. Exploring one’s own contributions to the life of the deceased.
5. Identify and document responses to the grief
6. Engagement of outsider witness responses
7. Discussions about the legacy of the person’s skills, values and knowledges.

 

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